We are getting very good at writing interesting recounts about a slice of life in a personal experience. See if you can spot language features, strong verbs, feelings and thoughts and direct speech.
Dad's Birthday- By Jessie Pritchard
I woke up. I had blurry eyes. I called for my daddy. I felt dizzy in my head. The lights were on. I felt happy. I gave my dad a hug. It was my daddy's birthday today. We haven't given him his presents yet. We will give him his presents after school. I can't wait!
On Saturday me and Vasti had a freezing day, because we went Ice skating. It was as slippery as a slug. We saw ice, white-cloud boots and a DJ.
He said that there was going to be a race. So Vasti zoomed like a racing car to the ramp. She was so fast that she won!
After that we had hot chocolate and hot chips.
"Home time!" said Vasti's mum. So I went home and Vasti went home.
"Hi mum, hi dad!"
"Hi cupcake!" said dad.
"How was it? "Fun!" I said.
May 29, 2011 at 6:46 PM
Nice recounting writing Monique. I liked the details especially the bit where I won! From Vasti